Insecurities
by zoegrover
Summary: After overhearing a conversation at a bar, Gamora's insecurities about her relationship with Peter come to the surface. Takes place after volume 2 and before Infinity War. I own nothing, and this is also posted on AO3


**AN: Hi all! This is my first work published to this fandom so comments/ feedback are greatly** **appreciated. This is not betaed so please forgive any mistakes. I hope you enjoy!**

Gamora was a fairly confident person. She was comfortable in her own skin, didn't hesitate to call people out when they were wrong, and gave off the air of not caring what anyone thought about her. During the day, when the sun was out, she kept her head held high and walked around like she didn't have a care in the world. Night time however, was a different story entirely.

The fears and insecurities that she pushed away during the light of day surrounded her. The thinly veiled insults or ones that weren't veiled at all that she pretended not to hear crashed over her like a wave. Some nights she would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, begging them to just go away. Other nights, it would feel like she was drowning. She would cry, sometimes silently, other times huge gasping sobs, as she tried to keep her head above water.

Many nights she wondered why the other guardians let her stick around. She was a murderer, an assassin. She was no help to their little group. Sure, she could fight, but her being gone wouldn't mean that they wouldn't be able to complete certain missions. The people that they helped didn't trust her. The people that employed them didn't trust her. In everyone's eyes, she was still the daughter of Thanos who belonged in jail.

Well, except for one person. Peter. Now as Gamora lay awake in bed, she wasn't alone. Her back was pressed up against his stomach, his arm pulling her into his side, his knees were pressed into the crook of hers, and his face was buried in her hair. She couldn't understand how someone so sweet, so good, could want someone like her. He could have his pick of every single female in the entire galaxy, but he picked her. It had taken her a long time to open herself up to him, but he had been patient and never pushed her farther than she wanted to be. Every time he touched her, she tried to memorize the feeling. The way his kisses sent currents of heat down to her toes, the pressure of his arm slung around her waist, the feeling of his stubble as he nuzzled her neck, and the security she felt when he held her close as they danced. She tried to memorize all these feelings, so when he finally realized that he could do much better than her and left, she would have something to hold on to.

It was no secret that they were together. Drax had been absolutely thrilled, launching into a story about his wife the minute he found out. Mantis had smiled widely, said something about being able to feel the happiness radiating off them, and hugged them both tightly. Groot hugged Peter's finger and then climbed onto Gamora's shoulder as fallen asleep while playing with her hair. Rocket had made some sarcastic comment about how he'd kill them if they had sex anywhere other than their bunk, but Gamora had seen the hint of a smile on his face as he turned away. Not everyone was as accepting of their relationship. Whenever they were in public, Peter always had an arm around her or was holding her hand. People noticed of course and began talking. Some whispered quietly enough so she couldn't hear, and others didn't even bother to lower their voice. It didn't matter either way. Gamora knew what they were saying. How could someone so great and heroic as Peter Quill end up with a murderer. Whenever she heard them, she would square her shoulders and keep walking, ignoring the concerned expressions from the rest of her crew.

…

Gamora knew going to the bar on Xandar was a bad idea. She was in an awful mood already and knew going to a bar was going to make it that much worse. They had run into one of her adopted brothers on their latest mission, and he had managed to bring up some of her worst memories of growing up with Thanos. When they arrived back on Xandar, all she wanted to do was fall into bed and forget about this horrible day. However, Rocket had suggested that they go to a bar, Drax and Peter had agreed enthusiastically, and she had agreed also, not wanting to upset Peter.

The bar was not unlike the many others they had been to together over the years. It was dark, loud, crowded, and smelled of smoke. The booze was awful but cheap, the bartenders were rude, and the other patrons were definitely not upstanding citizens. It was Mantis' turn to stay back with Groot, much to their relief. Mantis had a habit of getting drunk way to quickly and wandering around the bar trying to read people's emotions. Gamora had lost track of how many times she had to stop people from beating Mantis up. The minute they had their drinks Drax and Rocket rushed off to play some game, and Peter lead her to a booth in the back corner of the bar. He wrapped his arm around her, and she snuggled into his side and tried to tune out the sounds of awful music and yelling. The two of them sat and talked about anything and everything for a while as they sipped their drinks and watched to make sure Drax and Rocket wouldn't say something that would get them killed.

When they had finished their drinks, she offered to go get more. She untangled herself from him, planted a quick kiss on his cheek, and slid out of the booth. It didn't take long for her to get them considering she was one of the most feared women in the galaxy, and no one wanted to see her get angry because they took too long. When she arrived back at the booth, she stopped short. Two young Xandarian women were pressed against him, one on each side. Gamora probably would have been angry at Peter except for the look of discomfort and fear on his face. As she got closer she could hear their conversation.

"Ah I see, you're with that girl. That's why you won't come with us."  
"Gamora," Peter said with an edge to his voice. He hated it when people wouldn't say her name.

"Ditch her and come hang out with us tonight," one of them said, her lips grazing his ear.

"No thanks," Peter said trying to put distance between them.

"You'd rather hang out with a wanted criminal than us?"  
"She's not a wanted criminal anymore."

"Well yes, but we all know it's just a matter of time before she runs back to daddy. You can do much better than her."

"Come on, we know you're only with her for the sex. I mean why else would someone like you be with someone like her. We can show you a much better time than she can."

Gamora could see Peter's face begin to turn red and his teeth clench.

"That's not…"

"You don't need to justify yourself," one of them purred, "we know it gets very lonely in space sometimes."

"But now that you're on Xandar, you have us. Someone who's not an ugly evil psychopath."

At that Gamora dropped the drinks to the floor with a loud crash, making the three of them look at her.

"Gam," Peter called out as he began pushing his way out of the booth.

Gamora didn't wait. She spun around on her heel and began pushing her way to the door ignoring Peter calling after her and the sounds of protest from the other beings in the bar as she shoved them a little too hard. When she finally got out of the bar, she paused for a moment, gulping down the cool, clean air. Then she started running again. This time she didn't stop until she was back on the ship. She ignored Mantis' questions, locked herself in her room, and collapsed on her bed. She had just sat down when there was a knock on her door.

"Gamora? It's Peter. Please open up."

Gamora didn't respond.

"Gam, please. I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Now open the door before I use one of Rocket's bombs to blow it open."

Gamora got up and walked to the door, but she didn't open it.

"Gamora, please. I just want to talk to you."

Gamora closed her eyes and leaned her head against the door as tears began to blur her vision. She didn't open the door until the first tear had slid down her cheek. When she opened the door, Peter stood there, his cheeks flushed from running and concern written all over his face.

"Why are you here," she said desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

"What do you mean? I'm here for you."

"Those girls were right. You can do better then me. You should find someone who's not an ugly evil psychopath."

"Do you think that's how I see you," he asked, hurt seeping into his voice, as he entered the room and shut the door.

"Maybe you don't see me that way, but everyone else does!"

"Gamora…"

"Stop Peter. Don't tell me you haven't noticed the way they watch you, whisper when you appear. They think you're going to save them. They see me as the murderous bitch who's dragging you down. Sooner or later you're going to start seeing me that way too. You should just leave me now and go find someone else before I get to attached."

"I don't want anyone else! I want you! I love you!"

They stopped and stared at each other. Peter was looking at her with undisguised hurt in his eyes, and she was sobbing now.

"You can't," she said through tears, as she lowered herself onto the bed, "you can't love me. I'm a terrible person. I'm unlovable."

"Gamora, baby, you're not a terrible person," he said sitting down next to her and taking her hands.

"Everyone else seems to think so."

"That's because they don't see the side of you that I do. They don't see how you talk to Drax about his wife and daughter. They don't see how you put up with Rockets' sarcastic comments and help him when he needs it. They don't see how you let Groot sleep on your shoulder. They weren't there when you comforted me after everything that happened with Ego. They don't know that you mourn your entire planet because you're the only one left to do it. They aren't there on the missions where you risk your life to save the rest of us."

Peter gently cupped the side of her face and turned her to look at him. He gently kissed the top of her head and wiped away tears with his thumbs.

"You are not unlovable Gamora. You are worthy of love, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

At that, he covered her lips with his and kissed her with such care and gentleness that it made her cry harder. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers.

"I am never going to leave you Gamora," he said so softly she almost didn't hear. "Nothing in this entire galaxy could take me away from you, so you better get used to having me around."

Gamora laughed softly at that comment.

"Gam," Peter said, his face turning serious, "do you believe me? Do you believe that I love you?"

"Yes Peter," she said breaking into a smile, "I believe you."

Gamora wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. When her lungs screamed for oxygen, she pulled back barely enough to get air in.

"I love you too," she said softly, staring into his eyes.

Peter's grinned widely and pulled her into another deep kiss. He pulled her onto his lap and began kissing a trail down her neck. He had just reached her collarbone when the door swung open. Gamora was so startled that she fell on the floor with a loud thump.

"Here they are," Drax called out, "I told you they would not be angry with each other when we returned."

Before either of them could say anything, he pulled the door shut leaving them alone again.

"We really need to teach him to knock," Peter said as he helped Gamora to her feet.

"Yeah we do."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure Peter. Come on, let's go to bed."


End file.
